I don’t know who these people are, but it’s a cool photo
The Catholic Church has caught a lot of flak over the years for defending the idea that the word marriage means “an indissoluble union between one man and one woman.” Some take issue with the “indissoluble” part, some with the “one” part, and still others with the “man and woman” part. Oftentimes, complaints stem from the feeling that the Church offers only a restrictive or outdated view on marriage which impedes a person’s ability to live his or her “best life.” Not only can we as Catholics see the error of this idea, but we can also see that the Church’s definition of marriage promotes our flourishing, our well-being, and our freedom.
Indissoluble
We all know and understand the importance of love, Christian or otherwise. It’s only the theme of every other song, book, or movie! All people inherently recognize the power love has over us. And we codify the importance of love in marriage. We do this because the importance of love calls for an all-in kind of commitment. In marriage, husband and wife both give themselves to one another fully, which includes their bodies. When a couple takes vows to love each other completely, but they withhold something (money, time, fertility, emotional connection), it hurts both of them. In sacramental marriage, God gives us the strength to commit for life as participants in Jesus and the Church’s one, indissoluble, fruitful union. In allowing a couple to participate supernaturally, God binds the spouses together: “therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
One
While many see the rise of polygamy in popular culture as a newer phenomenon, the Church has fought this disordered view of marriage since Jesus himself forbade it. Some have even died defending monogamous marriage. This goes back to the idea that, in marriage, we give ourselves completely to one another. The Catechism states in paragraph 1645, “‘The unity of marriage… is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection.’ Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive.” The Church recognizes that we can’t fully give ourselves to more than one person in the sexual realm, for, as Jesus says in quoting Genesis, marital intercourse is meant to be a “one-flesh union” (Genesis 2:24). If we divide our marital love, we lessen and cheapen it. Thus, the Church’s teachings against polygamy aim at ensuring each person can experience the fullness of love that marriage has to offer.
Husband and Wife
The Church doesn’t just forbid homosexual relations out of a desire to persecute people who feel different, but out of a desire to protect them from the harm they might do to themselves or others through such acts. The Catechism states in paragraph 2357, “…[T]radition has always declared that ‘homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.’ They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity.” When we defy our own nature, we cause harm to ourselves and damage our relationship with God. Thus, God wants us only to engage in acts which will help us flourish and grow closer to Him.
As we can see, the Church doesn’t define marriage in a way that takes away our freedom, but in a way that allows for our flourishing. Let’s conclude with paragraph 1660 from the Catechism: “The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children.”
It’s surprisingly difficult to find good royalty-free photos of weddings
Chris Tarantino is the Communications Director for TOBET. He studied History at The University at Texas A&M and has written for the Tennessee Register and Nashville Catholic.
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Excellent article, Chris. Thank you. My beloved wife and I recently marked our 46th year of marital union and I thank God for the great gift He has given me throughout these many years in my beautiful companion. Reading your article in honor of the sacramental gift of matrimony was a joy. May Our Lord continue to bless your gift of writing and shining His light into a culture too often stumbling along in the dark.
Hey Gery, thank you for your kind words! Congratulations on your anniversary and thank you for your witness to the Church!